Punishing your spouse?

[Keepworking]

We had a little argument so there was no kiss for her yesterday. It hurt me as much as it hurt her, and I don't think I would very often do this.

 

[Restless]

I'm the same way. I won't back down easily but I think I suffer more even though I'm punishing her for something she did. It's awful and I hope I will never do it again.

 

[Ronald]

We had a little argument so there was no kiss for her yesterday. It hurt me as much as it hurt her, and I don't think I would very often do this.

When I read this, it literally made me "laugh out loud". It sounds so immature when you read it, but I'm guilty of it, too. When I'm mad at my wife, I give her the silent treatment, until she either apologizes or I've just had enough time away from her to cool down and "get over it". And obviously we don't share in any kind of physical affection when we're mad with each other.

 

[Babar]

I don't think either partner should "punish" the other! It's mean, not healthy and is usually not productive. It will only cause further problems to continually mistreat your spouse in this way.

 

[Jonathan]

I agree with Ronald that it sounds immature, but I am guilty for doing that too. Though, my wife is very understanding. She knows when I need to be left alone, and she will do so.

 

[Andersson]

Even during the times we have had a spat we still always give a kiss, it is not something we could ever give up. I can not think of any time that we have missed out on a kiss. I doubt its anything either of us could do.

 

[Victor]

We had a little argument so there was no kiss for her yesterday. It hurt me as much as it hurt her, and I don't think I would very often do this.

Now why would you punish yourself like that? Give her a kiss anyway, unless you are so mad you don't even want to look at her. Sometimes I don't kiss my wife when I'm mad at her, but not out of spite; it's just when I'm furious.

 

[BigPapa]

We never use affection as a form of punishment and I don't think that it is healthy to. We fight but not often. Even so, we always make sure to kiss each goodnight and not go to bed angry.

 

[Bear]

We don't fight often around here,but withholding affection from your spouse seems pretty childish to me. Does your spouse respond in kind when she is upset with you?

 

[Ifamily]

You actually made me chuckle. It think it's ridiculous to punish your spouse that way. In most cases, it would hurt yourself more than it hurts your spouse.

 

[uhoh]

Are you really looking at it as punishment when you do it? Or is that how you see it after the fact? There is a whole different perspective between these two. If you are punishing her on purpose and knowingly while you do it, that's truly sad.

 

[Betterman]

I understand the concept of small "punishments" but I don't look at them as punishments. I look at them as "I'm really upset with you and don't really want to kiss you right now so I'm not going to kiss you."