Isn't that rooted in selfishness? I mean we're basically talking about the same thing. People are more concentrated on themselves. Maybe they don't feel it that way but the result is the same.I don't think it's selfishness so much as the wrong expectations. For the past 50 years or so, the psychologists have preached that we need to have more self-esteem, more of what we want and less responsibility. It's no wonder that people think marriage will be a lark and that they run at the first sign of a problem. People don't work at things like they used to.
And that's a very good point I think. But sometimes you can do that all day long, but the other person doesn't appreciate that fact. When that happens, it's time to leave.Most people don't realize that in reality compromise is not finding a middle solution but accepting other person's solution. Forgetting about yourself for a minute may be the key for a good marriage. There's my point about selfishness again.
Christian, I think you are taking the right approach with your children. I read one time that marriage is not a 60 percent / 50 percent arrangement but a 100 percent / 100 percent commitment. To me, that says that each person needs to give up and give in to keep their marriage on course.I don't know what the problem is but with the divorce rate hovering at around 50%, I think we need some changes. I've tried to show my children that we have to work on problems together to be able to work everything out and I think they get that. I usually make them sit down together if they have a fight and try to work it out together. They do pretty good, I have to say.