Stepdad Is Mean

[daddyJoe]

My friend was telling me that his kids are saying that their stepdad is mean, but when he asks them how, they don't answer him. He doesn't know if he should be concerned, or if the kids are saying that because the stepdad is strict. Does anyone have any advice?

 

[SeaUrchin]

I would think it would be time for a talk to the ex wife. If she can shed some light on the subject that may be OK. If not then it's time for Children's Services to step in. You do not want to ignore your children because there may be a problem. But then again, they may just be grousing about a strict step dad. But it's better to check it out.

 

[SteppinIn]

I second SeaUrchin. They could mean that he's mean because he's strict, or they even might just be saying it to let your friend know that they like him better as a dad...but he should check with his ex-wife to see if she has any input on the matter.

 

[daddyJoe]

My friend talked to his ex and according to her, the stepdad is strict. The kids don't like it and that's why they are complaining. Thanks for the advice. My friend feels a lot better now. What can someone do if it turns out the stepdad is actually mean?

 

[Jack]

Sometimes a mother will "defend" her new husband and turn a blind eye to what he is really doing, or not want to look at what is really going on. Stay alert to what your children tell you without putting ideas in their heads.

 

[Alistair]

A friend of mine was in the situation of being considered the "mean" step-dad. He wasn't particularly strict, but in the children's eyes he seemed stricter than their biological father, and they would always complain to the latter, in the first few months, about how bad their step-dad treats them. In time, they learned to get along better...

 

[Milt]

It could be an issue or it could be symptomatic of not wanting to accept the authority of the step father, which is common. The best thing for you is to try to remain objective and guide your kids as best you can.