Visitation with the exes??

[Regis]

As a stepfather who lived with kids for years before getting married I get the bond that happens even without marriage. The kids ran into the guy before me (not their dad and out of the picture for the last 5 years) at the mall and want to have lunch with him.

I have a happy and secure marriage and I know the kids love me but this seems a little weird. They're 17, 10 and 7. The 7 yr old doesn't remember him.

 

[Miller]

My brother and his ex spend time together with their children. They say it's fine, and their spouses both agree, but I don't know. It would certainly cause a problem in my family.

 

[BigPapa]

I can understand the older 2 wanting to see him depending on how long he was in the picture. If he was there for most of their younger years I am sure they bond with him. It doesn't mean they care for you any less.

 

[Regis]

I'm not sure if they'll like me any less but when he was around and they were younger it was all fun and games. Now that they're older I have to be more of a disciplianarian than he was. Plus the thought of them remembering him walking out of my wife's bedroom in the morning......

 

[Bear]

I don't see what the big deal is with the exception of the younger one. I wouldn't force him to spend time with someone he doesn't remember if he doesn't want to. As for them remembering him walking out of the bedroom...really? The 17 year old knows they were having sex (just like he knows you and your wife are), and the ten year old is not even going to think of it in that context at all.

 

[Andersson]

My sister was with a guy for almost 20 years and her kids still look to her ex for advice even though they are grown now and have families of their own. If the person is good and a decent person I do not really see any issue with it.