When would you forgive?

Discussion in 'Fathers & Divorce' started by Sinbian, Dec 7, 2013.

  1. Sinbian

    Sinbian New Member

    Would you forgive your wife an affair? I guess it all the depends on the situation and what led to it but in general what is your opinion on this?
  2. BigPapa

    BigPapa New Member

    I think forgiveness is important to you, not the person you are forgiving. I can always forgive anything, forgetting and allowing the person back into your life is something different altogether. Just remember that holding all of the pain and anger inside of you only hurts you, not them.
  3. Timothy

    Timothy New Member

    Personally, I don't think I could forgive it. I might could "get over it" in time, meaning I could get to a point where it didn't hurt me to think about it anymore, but I don't think I could ever trust her again. It would most likely be the end of our relationship.
  4. Timeless

    Timeless New Member

    I think the same as Timothy. It's hard to forget something like that and it will always be in the back of your mind. They say time heals but I don't know.
  5. Sinbian

    Sinbian New Member

    Some research say it's more about the sexual jealousy than it is with betraying trust. Whoever finds the wisdom and strength to separate these two will have no problem forging a carnal betrayal, that is if betrayal is of carnal sort.
  6. Victor

    Victor New Member

    I would think the betrayal of trust would be the bigger issue, actually. If my wife deceived me in such a way, I am not sure how we could come back from that.
  7. Sinbian

    Sinbian New Member

    I agree, caving under temptation is one thing but hiding a longer relationship and seeing someone else on the side is just absurd. I'm not sure how I would react to that.
  8. davie

    davie New Member

    I would be able to forgive pretty quickly, because I try not to hold grudges. However, it would not be something that I would forget about very easily. I don't think that I would stay with someone that is cheating or has cheated. I couldn't trust that person.
  9. Sinbian

    Sinbian New Member

    Trust is important part of any relationship. It's also important part of friendship as well as family. I don't think these things would survive without it.
  10. Andersson

    Andersson New Member

    Many years ago I was cheated on, not by my wife but my another who I dated. I never got over it and I really do not think I could now even at my age.
  11. Bear

    Bear New Member

    My wife and I have an open marriage so this is not something that we will ever have to worry about. Even if we didn't have an open marriage I wouldn't throw out our whole relationship just because she had sex with someone else.
  12. SingleDadNow

    SingleDadNow New Member

    I think that it depends a little bit on the situation. In most cases, I could not move on in that relationship. I won't say that I never could, though. There is a chance that if there were circumstances that created something like a perfect storm, and she was very repentant, honest, and wanted to work hard to regain trust, I can say that I might be able to move past it.
  13. Karter

    Karter New Member

    I don't know that I would forget but I could possibly forgive depending on the situation. It's really hard to know what you would do until you are in that situation. Initially I don't think anyone forgives, it would take some time to work it out.

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