Does your child talk back too much? Is he arguing for everything that you say? It’s a good sign as well as a bad sign then. The good sign is – you might be seeing a future lawyer or a person with amazing capabilities who can stamp any authority. The bad sign is – he’s growing stubborn and inevitably arrogant. So, how do you deal such a situation? The theory is merely listening to your child as to what he/she has to say and then make a parental decision. When a kid was asked if she argues with her parents, she said “I don’t like to argue with my parents, as they always listen to me.” This according to Mark Nichols is called responsive listening.
Ok, what happens when your child is talking back and arguing? First, you won’t know what to do and start feeling helpless. Second, gnaws your respect. Third, destroys your authority and finally frustrates you. This is common with all the parents who don’t know how to approach a situation where the child is constantly arguing. You must know how to maintain control over the situation and keep things leveled. If you are going to argue, the kid becomes more particular in proving his point and trying to get his way through.
Trying to stop your kid from arguing has three things;
• Listening to your kid and empathize his situation
• Think once again about your decision and reconsider the other options too
• Stick to your final decision and never give hope of changing your mind
You should not get frustrated when your child starts repeating his points of view. It’s an opportunity where you can capitalize on the child’s exhaustion of vent. You can tell your decision once again to the child at this point of time. Be calm, hold your temper for it’s your child and you’ll always want to do the best for him. He’ll start complaining when still disagree. It’ll eventually decline and stop. Wait for that moment again and let him know about your decision again. Of course, the child will have nothing more to say and will quit arguing.
If you feel the commencement of an argument, put forth the following rules to yourself and to your child;
• Let the voice decibel remain at normal levels, no screaming
• One should not talk while the other is doing so. Both of you should be given chances to complete their respective statements before a decision is taken
• Sarcastic comments or jabs will not be encouraged
You should also not let your child be disrespectful during arguments. If he talks back rubbish, do not listen to the child. Leave the room immediately without another word, but sticking to your decision. Punish your child is there is swearing. Punishment is a good way of keeping the child under control. Don’t be harsh in your punishments, keep it simple yet effective. Disrespectful talking back of your child is an opportunity for you to teach him to be good. Kids learn many good things that way.