What to Do If Your Spouse Has a Bad Attitude

Living with your spouse already presents its fair shares of challenges. Everyone has their own set of emotions to deal with that are influenced by their daily experiences. When your spouse has had a bad day, or even what seems like a bad week or month, it may be difficult to keep smiling and pretend you don’t notice. And quite honestly, this may not be the best way to handle it. It can be daunting at times, but tackling the situation to try to smooth out the wrinkles when they are simply bothersome, will prevent a larger headache when they become intolerable later on.

Women are complicated creatures. Numerous studies have shown that men and women are just wired differently. Women don’t always convey a clear message, and men are not mind-readers. This formula makes for an instant communication failure. The best way to deal with a bad attitude on your spouse’s part is to take a moment to assess the situation. Is it something that has been going on for a long time? Is it typical of her personality? You certainly wouldn’t want to poke a hibernating bear with a stick, so you probably don’t want to start something at a time that you aren’t prepared to finish it.

Wait until there are no children around, and approach her quietly and calmly. Start out with a simple gesture of kindness. This will help from two angles: she will mellow out a little, and in case she’s mad at you already, you’re scoring some brownie points ahead of any heated discussion. You may find that whatever she’s stewing over is trivial in your eyes. But again, women just think differently. Hear her out and do your best to be understanding. Don’t allow her to trick you into arguing about what happened last week, last year, or before you got married. It’s just dangerous territory.

Hopefully, it is a fleeting emotion, and your caring, understanding, and undivided attention will make everything right with the world again. And a back rub can go a long way as well; maybe even a flower from the garden. However, if you find that this problem is serious, you may have to suggest that the two of you allow an objective third party to intervene. And I don’t mean her mother, or sister, a neighbor, or even a family friend; I am stressing the word, “objective.” By this I mean, marriage counselor, or family therapist.

A consistently negative approach to life is unhealthy for your marriage and family. You have to help your spouse with whatever it is she is dealing with that is causing her to view her world in a skewed manner. This is where counseling can be a great tool. You both will learn how to effectively communicate beyond the barriers created by the differences in men and women. You may even find that you both feel the same way about a particular topic, but are communicating it in such different ways that it seems as if you disagree.

Fix your spouse a nice hot bath, and allow her to soak before trying to get to the reason behind the frown on her face. It will be a lot easier to help lift the weight of the world off of her shoulders when she is calm and relaxed. Plus, if she is in the tub, you have a better chance of making a run for it if it doesn’t go well.

Marriage is difficult, but you did vow to work together through both good and bad times. Love can overcome most anything, but the key is to remain positive, and communicate well. Correcting a consistently bad attitude is a priority, as a marriage will suffer if both parties are not equally happy and vested in it. Let her know that you want to help with her frustrations. If the two of you cannot work it out in an understanding way, seek the help of a trained professional. Don’t let another day go by with one of you resentful, and the other confused.