One success worthy for the 21st century father and son to attain is mutual respect, openly communicated as adults. Of course, such success can never be guaranteed, but it can always be the goal. This article is written to encourage fathers with secrets that help insure a successful relationship of mutual respect with their sons. Ideally, the father-son relationship will begin to develop from the earliest years of the boy’s life and continue to grow as he becomes an independent adult, living on his own.
Recognize Cries for Help
For his toddler and preschool son, the father needs to recognize a true cry for help and jump to help when he hears it. No, this is not only the mother’s job. The young boy will develop many cries. The angry and tantrum cries should be ignored, or possibly punished. The pouts and the whines should be discouraged in a milder fashion, such as requiring a happier way to ask for something, teaching the value of sharing, or distracting the boy’s attention with a toy or happy thought. If, however, there is any doubt about a young boy’s cry, the father should immediately respond with the intent to meet a need.
Help Broaden a Boy’s Experiences
As the toddler grows, the father should make time to observe his increasingly active son. What does he like or not like to do? How does he respond to the little successes and failures in his expanding world? At this age, the father has the opportunity to help his little boy broaden his experiences in many areas. Physically, they could go to a park and try types of acrobatics or different specific sports together. The father’s goal is not to impress his son, but to come alongside with encouragement and an example. Doing such activities together can provide a lad with many opportunities to give his dad an admiring look of respect. In addition, the father can look for ways to broaden his son’s experiences mentally, socially, artistically, and more.
Support for Basic Life Disciplines
As he grows, the boy will find activities that he really likes. The father can help his son develop those talents. His son will need basic life disciplines such as hard work, learning from mistakes, sacrificing other fun activities, improving from potentially tedious practice times, and maintaining positive goals after failure or loss. A father who is present with positive support and helpful guidance will see excellent qualities in his son and win still more admiration.
Academic Involvement
The father should also be involved in his son’s academic work. “Homework First” should be a positive, unquestioned rule at home. Fathers should be available to help with homework, and even work to understand hard subjects. Blessed is the son who catches a love for learning from his father. Additionally, parents need to be sure that all textbooks are written to teach and not to brainwash. Accurate history books, moral readers, and unbiased social studies cannot be assumed in the 21st century. If any pages raise questions, a father can honor his son by reviewing and researching issues with him to make it a bonding as well as a teaching time.
Building a Strong Work Ethic
Without parental guidance, it may be difficult for a young man to develop a strong work ethic, which is one of the best preparations for living life on his own. A great place to start is the bottom, ably using a mop, a shovel, or a garbage bag. The father can beneficially support his son in working hard, staying honest, keeping an upbeat attitude, being alert to see needs, paying attention to do the extra deed, and voluntarily learning more about his department or company. The involved father who positively communicates such a work ethic, can be proud of his son, even if this great effort does not result in a raise or promotion. Money is not the first priority for a young man.
Some fathers may be starting late, but it is never too late build respect. Start by changing the mindset; eliminate the expectation of resistance. Begin with small or easy areas where there is less conflict. Express respect, praise good effort, honor achievements.