Becoming a cool stepfather by spoiling them...

[Roger]

One of my close buddies has recently entered a relationship with a woman who has two children (a girl of 7 and a boy of 5). My buddy told me he has a strategy for making the kids like him and consider him a cool stepfather: spoil them a lot. Their mother is already an over-indulger parent who buys them pretty much every toy they want, so... if my friend marries that woman, her children are going to be a pair of spoiled brats.

What do you think - is it a good idea to spoil your stepchildren in order to get under their skin?

 

[jason]

I do not think so. I understand him wanting the kids to like them, but they need some guidelines and structure.

 

[Mack]

I'm not sure that over-indulging children is good for anybody. Being sensitive to how they feel and what they need and earning their respect might be a better approach.

 

[WillyWonka]

Not a good idea. Those kids will be running over the both of them in several years. I really believe children need AND want limits. They like to try to test the limits but they really don't have the maturity to handle things that are over what they can handle according to age and maturity.

 

[proudpapa]

My wife told me straight up when I met her, not to try to buy her kids, they'll like you or they won't. She had a mom who had a few boyfriends and she remember the one guy she hated the most, the one who would try to buy her affection.

 

[CoolFather]

That definitely is not a good approach to gaining respect. Of course, if he has enough money to offer them motivational rewards for their accomplishments at school or to give them a big allowance - that's another thing, ... but just by spoiling them won't turn him into a good stepfather.