Blaming your own kids?

[MickL]

Have you ever been in a situation where your son (or even daughter) fought against another kid and you didn't know what actually happened? In such a situation, would you tend to you blame your kid or the other kid?

 

[PeterPater]

That's a tough one to answer. Of course I feel I know my daughter so I can kind of judge something based on that, but there's a risk I will interpret things wrongly. Generally I encourage both children to say their piece and not 'blame' either of them.

 

[noahsdad]

As I know my son to be an instigator I usually do automatically blame my son for things. He will usually fess up to it or deny it harshly if he is not to blame.

 

[MickL]

Hehe, I love your honesty Noahsdad, but Peter has a good point about wrongly judging your kid because you think you know him. I would rather get both children telling their piece before making any judgment.

 

[danno]

My father was a school caretaker and he told tales of parents who refused to believe that their little "angel" could ever do anything bad but I am aware that every kid is capable of instigating trouble. Luckily my son knows the value of honesty so even if he is at fault, he will tell me the truth.

 

[Blended]

I would try to find out the cause and hear both of them if I'm not sure what exactly happened. But I surely wouldn't attack the other kid.

 

[Sinbian]

I bring up my kids to tell the truth all the time and I will expect my kid to tell me who started the fight. If he/she is to blame than I would take necessary measures to teach him/her a lesson. If other kid is responsible then I will alert his/hers parents.

 

[Pop]

I have taught my daughter that she would get in bigger trouble by telling me a lie, than telling me the truth, no matter what happened. So I'm sure that if she started something, she would tell me that she started it. And I know, because we've been in that position before. She's not a bully, but she takes up for herself, which is perfectly acceptable to me.

 

[Cruise]

That's a tough situation. It's difficult not to think that it must be the other kid who started the fight and your kid just defended himself. I always encourage my kid to tell the truth to their parents no matter what though.