Bullying handicapped kids

[polamalu43]

I am so sick of seeing these neighborhood "bullies" bullying this handicap boy from the neighborhood. I talk about it all the time to my kids. Everyone is the same, no one is better. I don't want to see you picking on anyone. Well guess what? I heard my son say to another kid (that I don't like) - so and so is such a dork. I was floored. I know it wasn't the worst thing in the world but I have preached and preached to my kids. I have not told him yet that I overheard this. What would you do?

 

[Lorenzo]

If it were me, I would sit my kid down and tell him what I think about what he said. I wouldn't reprimand, I will try to make him see why I don't approve of what he said and why people, especially those with special needs, should be respected just like everybody else.

I think your son just said that derogatory remark to look "cool" for his friend.

 

[micromachne]

Ok, first off, I can't stand bullying. It's bad enough to pick on anyone in the first place. But when it comes to picking on a disabled, THAT pisses me off.

And if I EVER catch my daughter doing that, punishment will be severe.

 

[writer811]

I appreciate your kind thoughts toward the disabled, I went through the same thing growing up. I don't blame the people who bullied me because I know people feel uncomfortable about things that are different and uniting against whatever it is is one way to make them stop feeling uncomfortable. I would just tell your son that you heard him, you are very disappointed in him and leave it at that for now. If he actually starts bullying the kid directly, I would come down hard. Kids will do what they think they can get away with.

 

[R. Paradon]

Bullying kids - especially those who are "different" is bad. Unfortunately there is too much of it going on and occasionally those who are bullied excessively will decide to end their own life.

The problem is only starting to be recognized by schools but training a child not to bully begins in the home with the parents.

 

[JRDeep]

If it were me, I would sit my kid down and tell him what I think about what he said. I wouldn't reprimand, I will try to make him see why I don't approve of what he said and why people, especially those with special needs, should be respected just like everybody else.

I think your son just said that derogatory remark to look "cool" for his friend.

Peer pressure is very strong when you're in the moment. You can sense the vibe of those around you, and it's only natural to to adjust your thought process as a way of fitting in with the group. That doesn't mean you have to put others down in the process though

That's the weird thing about perception. You could be a dork to the same person you accuse of being one. You'd never know because your friends mostly likely look part your perceived dorkiness. We're all dorks at the end of the day. That doesn't define us as individuals though.

 

[Michael]

Kids do go through stages, and they learn from their errors. Parents have some influence, but if a kid decides to be mean to someone else, he's going to do it and think about it later. Growing up is hard, and especially hard on the disabled. They, too, learn to cope. It's not right, but it is part of what this world is all about.

 

[FrankSinatra]

Telling him those are not nice words and bullying are two completely different things and I think your kid has picked up on that much faster than you. Him calling some kid a dork isn't nice but it is far from bullying, which is what you preached to him.

 

[micromachne]

Nothing makes me angrier than when I see people picking on the handicapped, autistic, or disabled.

I remember in high school I almost got suspended for punching a kid in the mouth because he kept pushing around a wheelchair student. The kid in the wheelchair wasn't a friend of mine or anything. It's just I got fed up with seeing the bullying and since everyone else just stood there I decided to "end" the bullying.

 

[flfsurveyor]

I'd suggest you discuss this matter with your son as soon as possible and clarify things. Calling the handicapped a 'dork' may not be bullying per se; but it would still be hurtful and insulting if the handicapped overheard what was said about him. Children have to be aware and understand how their parents feel about bullying.

 

[Foster]

I'm with others, sit him down and explain to him it was wrong and why he shouldn't say it. However I can imagine a lot of it is peer pressure. All you can do is keep an eye on it and make him aware it is bullying.

 

[Niceness8000]

The problem is that kids are impressionable by the actions of their peers. You can scold your son about his language, but what will ultimately happen is he just won't say those things around you. Some parts of your children's' lives are out of your control. They are going to learn things that you don't want them to learn. I don't think there's anything you can do that would be a quick-fix for what your son said. Rather you will have to either begin, or reinforce your value system to your kids constantly moving forward. Eventually I believe it will become second nature to them.