Controlling Your Temper

[Victor]

What do you do to control your anger on those days when your children are pushing your buttons? I've been struggling with this one, so there's been a lot of unproductive yelling.

 

[tommymac]

I would guess that it depends on exactly what they're doing to push your buttons. Can you be more specific?

 

[roncar]

I've known my step-daughters since they were 5 and 8 (almost 13 years now). So far, I've been pretty lucky in the sense that they haven't done much to tick me off to the point where I'd totally lose it.

I do remember one incident that I got fed up with how messy the kept their room. I believe I had had a bad day at work that day, too, so that didn't help matters. I remember going in their room and just picking everything up off the floor and throwing it on their bed. I told them that they had 2 hours to clean it all up and put it away where it belonged. If I came back and found anything left on the bed that shouldn't be there or find out that they just stuffed it under the bed or in a drawer, I'd take it all and throw it in the garbage. I didn't really yell, but they did seem a little scared about it all. Since then they've kept their room up pretty well.

 

[Andersson]

Think before you speak, it is the easiest yet most overlooked small thing that people do day in and day out. I have had my issues in the past as well but lessen learned.

 

[polamalu43]

Try to cool off before you speak to your kids. You don't want to scare them or make them afraid of you. I have found that if I talk quiet and calm to my children they do the same. If they are not listening they are sent to their rooms until they can.

 

[FrankSinatra]

I have a punching bag in the garage so I just let it build up and then when they go to bed I go out there and beat the crap out of the heavy bag and work all my anger and stress out. It may not be the most productive method but it stop me from freaking out.

 

[freedombiker]

When you are angry and you want talk about something and you getting more angry the best thing that you can do is walk away from it, and get back when you are not angry anymore. You will see in te end that that is always better then solving the results of being angry.

 

[Foster]

I turn away from them and take a deep breath, if my wife is around I'll go out of the room for 5 mins. I never yell at my kids, it isn't productive as you've said, I found that out with my eldest son.

 

[Don]

I've snapped a couple of times and always felt bad when I did. Now, I usually just say that Dad needs a time out and turn things over to my wife.

 

[Hank]

I try my best to go away from the scene and come back in a few minutes when I could get myself under control. It doesn't happen very often, but It's hard to control yourself sometimes. Usually when I've been scared by an eminent or impending threat to the child is when I'm most apt to lose my temper.

 

[Lorenzo]

Yelling was also my initial reaction whenever the kids' antics get too much to handle. Everyone is right, yelling doesn't help any, it only aggravates the situation. Anyway, lately when I find the urge to yell, I tell the kids in a calm (and very controlled voice) that I am not liking what they're doing and if it continues, they might not like what I'll do. Fortunately, it works.