Discipline

[Jeff]

Discipline is the most talked about for my step son. I think she should not be as strict as she is and she thinks I am too laid back. How do you decide on where to go with it?

 

[AbsDad]

My biggest advice is to never discuss it or argue about it in front of the kids-as they will use it against one of the parents when the need arises.

You need to find a middle ground, preferably one that works. Also, if he has been used to strict all his life, going easy suddenly may lead to a bit of rebellion.

 

[Aaron]

We have come to common ground on raising our children and we discipline all the same, regardless of who's children they are. I agree with AbsDad though you want to keep discussion time away from little ears and eyes!

 

[AbsDad]

That's the other thing-if there are other kids involved, especially if there are eventually kids in your relationship as well as your step son, they must all be treated the same. I have a friend who struggles because the dad is a walkover, and his girls run rampant. The mother is more firm, and her kids are well behaved.

Trouble is that the dad won't allow the mother to discipline his kids, despite them literally tearing the house up. They've been together for ten years-I don't know how they have lasted.

 

[Jerry F]

You have to be consistent with any type of discipline. If you treat one set different than the other, chaos will reign and it won't be pretty. I've seen it with my brother and his family. He's in misery most of the time.

 

[danno]

I think you probably have a good balance. My ex is very soft and easily manipulated but I am quite the disciplinarian. Luckily we were together long enough for our son to end up as a polite, well mannered, well-adjusted boy.

 

[Mack]

Your child can eventually learn to pit you and your wife against each other, so it's probably good to try come to some understanding between you before that happens.