Discouraging your kids' misbehavior

[Greendad]

How do you discourage your children's misbehavior? I was always told to just ignore it. Sometimes it worked but in many cases it didn't. What did you experience?

 

[Len]

Ignoring misbehavior is, a lot of the time, similar to encouraging it. I suppose it depends on the type of misbehavior though. Sometimes simply saying 'No' is enough and sometimes a time out is in order.

 

[Jonathan]

I agree that it depends on the misbehavior. If the kid did it just to get attention, sometimes not giving him the attention he wants would work.

 

[TJoel]

Yeah, I would also say that it depends on the misbehavior and the kids as well. A 'no' or even just a disagreeing gesture is enough to stop some kids, while for other kids, sometimes a punishment should be applied.

 

[Arthuro]

I believe that many kids do that just to get attention. In this case, I think the best way of discouraging the misbehavior is to give them attention they deserve without them having to do that.

 

[Paranoid]

I believe that many kids do that just to get attention. In this case, I think the best way of discouraging the misbehavior is to give them attention they deserve without them having to do that.

I agree that a lot of kids misbehave because they do want attention. A lot of the time they feel ignored. I think giving them positive attention when they are not misbehaving is much easier (and better for your relationship) than rewarding bad behavior.

 

[Arthuro]

I agree with you about giving them positive attention when they are not misbehaving. I think we are guilty of this. When the kids behave properly, sometimes we just take it for granted and ignore them.

 

[Whoowap]

Well, when ignoring their misbehavior just won't do, I try to use the reward approach. I use the punishment approach only if they are being really naughty or when they do something really bad. Talking to them and asking them the reasons for their misbehavior might help - at least that's what the child psychologists say...

 

[Howard]

It really does depend on the situation I think. If they know and understand that the behavior is wrong, then there is a place for them to deal with some negative consequences. Otherwise, it's a "teaching moment".

 

[crowl]

Ignoring a problem never fixed the problem. That is like letting people run around with laws (say a DUI), how does that help the people then killed by the DD?

 

[Johnson]

I think it depends on the misbehavior and the age of the child. Generally, ignoring the misbehavior is encouraging it to happen again because there was no consequence for doing something they know they shouldn't be. I do wholeheartedly agree with rewarding positive behavior and giving praise for it.