My wife comes from a very dysfunctional family...well who doesn't nowadays? Anyway, they have never been fond of me and it places my wife in a difficult situation. She and her sisters have always been close and they still are sort of, but after she sees them she is very upset as she spends a great deal of time defending me. How can I help her? Has anyone else been through something similar?
Family Feuds
- Thread starter Kevin
- Start date
In order for that to stop, all parties would have to be willing to do what it takes to stop it. Part of that would be for her sisters to stop harassing her about you, which isn't likely.
Anything that you might do in hopes of making it better for both of you would probably make the situation worse. You can only be there to listen and support your wife.
There is something that your wife can do. She can tell her sisters that who she chooses to be with is her choice and if they want their relationships with her to continue, they have to keep their comments to themselves. If she's with them and they start talking negatively about you, she can simply get in the car and go home. Visit over! It might take doing that a few times, but if they really are close, it's likely that they'll stop in order to save their relationships with her.
Something else she could do is stop defending you and act like their comments don't bother her. If they don't get a defensive reaction, they might stop.
Anything that you might do in hopes of making it better for both of you would probably make the situation worse. You can only be there to listen and support your wife.
There is something that your wife can do. She can tell her sisters that who she chooses to be with is her choice and if they want their relationships with her to continue, they have to keep their comments to themselves. If she's with them and they start talking negatively about you, she can simply get in the car and go home. Visit over! It might take doing that a few times, but if they really are close, it's likely that they'll stop in order to save their relationships with her.
Something else she could do is stop defending you and act like their comments don't bother her. If they don't get a defensive reaction, they might stop.
Thanks for the advice. I agree with everything you said. My wife has decided to just back off from them for a little while and see what happens. I believe if her sisters really did love her and care for her as they should they would just respect her wishes. Their actions speak volumes. My wife is just having a hard time accepting the truth of the matter concerning them.
I think your wife has made a good decision. My ex went through something similar with her sister, but they were not close to begin with. Sometimes, I think women want to believe they are close to their families when they're not. It's hard for them to face the truth, but in the long run it's best.
That's not to say that your wife and her sisters aren't close. If they are, the sisters will change the way they treat her. If they're really not, it's best that she learn that, and the sooner, the better.
That's not to say that your wife and her sisters aren't close. If they are, the sisters will change the way they treat her. If they're really not, it's best that she learn that, and the sooner, the better.