I have a problem keeping my cool when I am really stressed out. Lately, work and finances have been a huge source of stress for me and I know I'm not giving my daughter enough positive attention. I don't go around the house yelling and freaking out at her, but I have had a pretty short fuse. How do you keep it together with your kids when you have a lot on your mind?
Maintaining patience during times of stress
- Thread starter Salazar
- Start date
I know exactly what you feel. I flare up easily, too and if not for my wife's gentle reminders, I would be yelling at the kids all day long. My kids have gotten used to my outbursts but nothing ever gets solved by yelling at someone, especially at the people you love. In times when I feel an outburst coming, I just focus my thoughts on something else - like cooking (I'm a great cook) or cleaning the garden. It really helps get the good mood back.
I struggle with this too. Intellectually I know that yelling does more harm than good and eventually the kids will learn to ignore it, but sometimes I just snap at them. Usually that tells me I should have acted sooner to actually stop the misbehavior, so I try to remember to be more proactive in the future.
polamalu43
New Member
This is a great discussion! I think we all go through this and I think we can all help each other out. I'm guilty of this too. I snap at the kids and wife from time to time. I get short a lot. It's normal but we can stop it. I try to go and relieve stress by working out when I'm really miserable.
It's good to know I'm not alone in this. I really put my best foot forward last week and did well until Saturday. I was working outside and my daughter was playing near me when my neighbor came over and completely ticked me off. The neighbor left and I was outside stomping around and yelling at no one, so my wife had to come outside to see what was going on and tell me to knock it off. Other than that, I managed to keep my stress in check for the week. Baby steps, I guess.
I have outbursts here and there, but I find it easier to control myself with my kids then my wife. I'm getting better with it, but it is still troubling to me when I have one. I just try and walk away and take a deep breath. My wife knows when I get extremely quite to stay away.
When I was growing up, my parents yelled at me a LOT for what seemed to be no reason, to the point that I felt like nothing I did was good enough, and in later years it harmed our relationship as I grew older as a teen. When my own kids were younger, I used the "take a breath" suggestion, and also used that time to go back to when I was a kid, remembering how my parents' yelling made me feel. The guilt alone was enough to make me spend an extra moment or 2 with my kids explaining rather than yelling. I didn't want my kids to feel the way my parents made me feel. I used everything as a learning/teaching experience, good or bad.
I try to keep things in perspective and remember that everyone else is probably doing their best, too. Everyone has a lot on their plate and it can be really tough to be a child. I remember feeling that way since you don't really have any control over things. That keeps me from laying down the law, so to speak, when I feel stressed unless it's necessary.