Unexpected and in shock

[tom_j]

Hey all, I'm glad there is a forum for this. Looks to be a great resource. Let me start by saying I am in shock, and very confused with no others in my situation to talk to. I am 21, in college, and definitely not expecting but I am going to handle this the best I can. My partner is healthy and we are guessing 5 weeks along, just did multiple tests last night. We are unmarried, but I was most definitely marrying her this year. So, what do I do now? I can't even function correctly right now. I drive a standard truck and can't coordinate shifting. Tips? I need advice.


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[Michael]

Tom, a baby may be unexpected, but it looks as though one is definitely in your future. Take a deep breath and realize that this could be a huge blessing in disguise. It's up to your and the mother-to-be to make it work. Good luck, pal.

 

[polamalu43]

You have come to the right place my friend. You will meet dads here of all ages! Be strong for your girlfriend. Try your best to finish college, the better you do for yourself, the better you will be for your child.

 

[Salazar]

It may not seem like it right now, but things will start to get better as the news sinks in. I know how much of a shock it can be at first. Try your best to stay focused on school. This does not have to be the end of the world. It's a big responsibility and may be a rocky road for a while, but you will get through it. It sounds like you have a very solid relationship and that's going to play a key role in this, so make sure you take good care of that. Come here and talk to us whenever you have a question, need to vent, or just want to talk to the guys.

 

[tom_j]

Thanks all. It's sunk in a little better now, I'm calmed down a bit. I do see rough times ahead. But I want the best for all of us.

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[wilson]

If you are hearing the news while behind the wheel I would suggest pulling over to gather your thoughts before an accident happens. Otherwise congrats, the shock will wear off and calm down (your nerves too) but the pride will always be there.

 

[tom_j]

I don't know what to think about it. So far with with my partner, with the crazy circumstances that brought us together I do feel all this is happening for a reason. It just feels like the polar opposite of what the correct time should be. We are both so busy with our own lives, its hard to get past the loss of what I hoped to be my adventurous years for us. They seem to have been snuffed out in an instant, and that is definitely hard to handle right now. I do think it will be a great experience for us though. Just a different path if adventure.

 

[Christian]

Congratulations Tom! Just take a deep breath and calm down, and you will do fine. If you waited until you were ready for kids (enough money, great jobs etc.) none of us would ever have them. I understand that it is a big shock, and I think you might appreciate this music video right now. Watch it Kenny Chesney - There Goes My Life - YouTube.

 

[Victor]

I understand that you weren't looking for it at this point in your life, but being a father is awesome. It can be tough but it is so rewarding. Also, look at it this way: by starting young, you'll be younger when the kid(s) move out and can have more fun than us old fogies.

 

[tom_j]

I do like the fact I am so young and will be in great shape when I need to be. I am starting to get excited though

 

[Heimdallr]

Congrades, i was 21 in college as well when I found out. I was furious ad upset. Nevermind confused. Just stay focused and don't worry


It's not how we fall which defines us but how we rise after falling

 

[Bear]

You will do just fine. Even when you are trying for a baby it can be quite a shock when you find out that you are having one. The first time you hold that little one in your arms though you will know that it will all work out. Just try to be supportive of the mom to be. Her body and hormones are changing rapidly, and it can be very scary and overwhelming for them too.

 

[tom_j]

I'm ready to be as supportive as possible and do the best I can. Just overwhelming right now. It seems to have happened for a reason. We moved into a new house last week, and find out this news. Pretty unbelievable. Going through the process of insurance and such today.

 

[jason]

If you wait for the perfect time to have a child, it will never come. While I do not think it will be the easiest time with college and such, it is a blessing. Like others have said, the best thing is being supportive, and providing the child with a good environment.

 

[Pucknut87]

Some great advice from these guys Tom. I just found out a few weeks ago that at 43 years old I'm gonna be a dad again.....AFTER having a vasectomy! You can imagine the shock I dealt with. Here I thought my kids were almost raised and it was "my time" finally, only to learn "here we go again". I can tell you that like yourself as it sounds, as the shock has worn off, I['m beyond exited, and as the others said, if people waited until they are "ready", none of us would probably even be here! lol Congrats my friend...we're here for ya!

 

[collin]

Chjildren are nothing to be afraid of... just relax. I had an unexpected youngin 28 years ago and I made it just fine... you will too! Listen, if you just show your love and caring (and keep a decent job) you will be just fine. Children and your wife and the nost blessed things you will ever have in your entire life, trust me...so cherish them with everything you have in your soul. You will never regret it if you give your children and your wife to be your all. A good man keeps his nose to his families needs, and tries his best to fulfill those needs. You will be rewarded deeply in love and closeness from your family, which are the worlds best gifts. And even though being a parent can sometimes be a thankless job (children take things for granted, expect this as part of the job) parenting gives you contentment from with, something no one can ever take from you no matter how rough the world outside can get... and that is something you can take to the bank forever.

 

[Lieutenant]

I would suggest that you be there for the girl. You think your scared and confused and lost; consider what she is going through as well. Being a father isn't something that others can tell you how to act, you learn as you go. You will make mistakes and look like a fool at times but other fathers on the forum and myself will help you a long the way. Just stay in touch and ask any questions you may have. Also be sure to go to all the doctor's appointments with your girlfriend, it really matters to them and later on in life you'll be thankful you were involved. Good luck

 

[Victor Leigh]

First off, do what the birds do. Make a nest. You need one for the baby. However small it may be. Perhaps a bedsitter or a small flat. Then start cutting down on all non-essential expenditure. The more money you have in hand when the stork arrives, the more choices you have.

And here's an odd one. Find a small little space and get your girl to start planting roses. One pot for each month of her pregnancy. This will go a long way to helping her delivery. No kidding.

 

[Donald]

Tom, you will be in for the ride and joy of your life. Just think, when you're my age, your new baby will probably have paved the way for more and then added some bonus grandchildren, too. There is nothing like having grandchildren. Life is good, man.

 

[huullk]

om, a baby may be unexpected, but it looks as though one is definitely in your future. Take a deep breath and realize that this could be a huge blessing in disguise. It's up to your and the mother-to-be to make it work. Good luck, pal.