Who dishes out the discipline?

[HappyDad]

Are you the one who gets to be the disciplinarian all the time or do you and your spouse assume the role equally? In my family, there's no "wait 'til your father gets home." My wife takes care of things just as well as I do.

 

[Victor]

It's pretty equal here too. I think "wait 'til your father/mother gets home" undermines the parent who is actually present and places an unfair burden on the other parent. Also, punishments that occur much later have less impact than immediate ones.

 

[Andersson]

Most of the time it was always me but that is only because my better half loved the idea of only giving a minor punishment even when it came to the big stuff. Our oldest tested our nerves as a teen let me tell you!

 

[Enrique]

I am more of the disciplinarian at our house. My wife is such a softie when it comes to the kids, but when she's the one mad, everyone becomes meek as lambs.

 

[Victor]

I am more of the disciplinarian at our house. My wife is such a softie when it comes to the kids, but when she's the one mad, everyone becomes meek as lambs.

Haha! Yes, when the softy gets mad, I can see why everyone would be compliant. No doubt they are thinking "Uh oh, we REALLY messed up this time!"

 

[Beaver]

It has to be a joint responsibility. The child should learn how to respect, not fear, both father and mother.

 

[psmith140]

In terms of our roles and what we do e.g. cooking, cleaning etc.. we share it pretty much evenly but when it comes to punishment I am the one who handles that. I think that's because I have the authority and build to do so whereas my wife doesn't exercise so much authoritativeness.

 

[fairbjosh]

In my home me and my wife are pretty much equal disciplinarians, but sometimes I feel like I have to be more of the bad guy since my wife is pregnant with our second girl she can't do as much yelling.

 

[Geonarlie]

I think my wife is definitely the one who dishes out the discipline. She really lays down the law when it comes to things. I like to let my kids live a little but shes against that. She wants them to be successful and its not that I don't, I just want them to have fun and be successful. Hope that doesn't come off the wrong way, don't' get me wrong I can be very strict.

 

[themdno]

I think that one parent being the disciplinarian is a bad way to go. I think the kid feels like they can walk on one parent, while resenting the other for the harsher treatment.

If both parents are equally doling out punishment, then the child is getting the same treatment from all parties. There is no favorite, there is no weaker link. I think it makes the kid respect both parents a little more.

 

[josephconrad]

Are you the one who gets to be the disciplinarian all the time or do you and your spouse assume the role equally? In my family, there's no "wait 'til your father gets home." My wife takes care of things just as well as I do.

I grew up in the environment where it was "Wait until your father gets home." That dread of waiting until my father got home and knowing that there would be a spanking ruined the entire day. Also, this pattern that was set continued through the teenage years- my mother would try to discipline, but Dad was the only one we were actually scared of.

It wasn't the ideal way to do it.

 

[Ravenfan]

I'll be honest, I always wanted to be the "nice parent". Then one day one of my friends pointed a few things out to me about how my son "plays me". My wife had told me that many times, but it just didn't settle in hearing it from her. Hearing it from someone outside the family as an impartial adviser, especially from my friend, work me up. My wife and I now share the disciplining of our child.

 

[flfsurveyor]

My wife and I would share in dishing out discipline. NO 'good cop - bad cop' routine. That way, the kids did not play us. I would be the softy, 'tho and would often give my wife the 'ok, that's enough, honey' signal.

 

[Victor Leigh]

When I was a kid, my father was the good guy. He was the one who took us to all the fun places. My mother was the bad guy. She was the one who smacked us and made us clean up the house.

When I had kids, I was the bad guy. I made up for by being Santa Claus, too.

 

[Niceness8000]

My wife does too, but she is easier on my son than I am. And she is seeing the results. He tries to get away with more with her. He doesn't do that with me. Now she has stiffened up her discipline to re-train him to give her the same respect he gives me. He's still young so I am sure it will work out.

 

[Jatelo2]

A very delicate duty this is. Whether the mother also does her part is not in question since disciplinary actions taken by either gender is very unique and serve the kids differently. Anyway around here the dad is the official disciplinary Master!

 

[NoRisk]

I think the best and most balanced families have an equal effect when disciplining. It's not good to see a child relying more on one parent than the other and this can often leave one parent feeling inadequate.

That being said, some people prefer to leave it to the other half and be the favourite parent xD

 

[mollew3]

Im more of the disciplinarian in my house. My wife is usually too nice to actually make any kind of threats. Most of the time its me who actually has to take action when my kids get out of line.

 

[Niceness8000]

Im more of the disciplinarian in my house. My wife is usually too nice to actually make any kind of threats. Most of the time its me who actually has to take action when my kids get out of line.

I see that in my household too. The fear I have is if I'm not there, how will my son behave, especially in public. I've seen some bratty kids and I do not want one of those.

 

[ghanashyam]

My wife expired before some 2 years, and now my daughter in law is in charge of house. Her husband, my elder son and my younger unmarried son are rough dogs in the house