Father and son relationships are often complicated. This is why it is important to keep the lines of communication open so that a child and his parent can truly talk. This will not only ease any tension or issues between the family members but will also create a bond that could help the son make smart choices in the future. Tension at home can lead a child to act out. The following are some tips for fathers and sons who want to learn how to communicate and talk openly about their issues with one another.
Do Something Fun
One great way to talk about issues is to go and engage in an activity that is low stress and fun. Discussions do not all have to happen at the kitchen table or in the car: instead, they can take place at the bowling alley or ice skating rink. The setting of a father and son talk can really help or harm such a conversation. Try to choose a place that is fun and low key but quiet enough so that a conversation can be had without shouting.
Ask Questions
Bringing up difficult topics can be difficult. Questions are a great way to start. At first, these questions can be vague. As the father and son continue to talk, these questions can become more and more specific. Asking questions is a non-confrontational way to really get to the root of the issue and talk things out.
Listen
Listening is more than hearing. Both the father and son need to take the time to listen to what the other has to say. This means not interrupting as well as leaning in, maintaining respectful eye contact, and affirming what the other person has said. The only way to be open with a child or parent is for the other party to show that they have heard how the other person feels. When the son explains how he feels, the father should paraphrase what was said so that the child knows he was truly listened to.
Both Parties Need to Take Responsibility
One of the biggest mistakes a parent can make is to blame the child for everything. The father needs to accept blame. A person may not mean to hurt or upset a child but it can still occur even with the best intentions. Thus, the only way for a parent and child to work out problems or talk about difficult situations is so realize there is not villain and hero.
Keep It in the Family
It is important that trust be built between the son and father. Thus, it is important that neither hears the other talking to other people about the situation. This means that the issue is dealt with right away in the home and that progress can be made. Nothing is worse than a son and father to talk about issues only for the child to hear the father blaming him on the phone to a friend.
Professional Help
Sometimes it is helpful to seek professional counseling. Having a neutral party and a new space may help a son and father open up for the first time in years or even ever. Professional therapists or counselors will be able to listen and provide some much-needed advice and even prompts to get the conversation moving. There is no shame in using a professional therapist: This could give a father and son the space and time they need to really open up to one another.
It is important to repair a relationship so that a father and son can truly talk openly with one another. Otherwise, small issues can really become large ones. Taking the time to talk through ideas and difficult emotions ensures the relationship and issues are mended in a healthy manner.