Parenting defiant children can often times be quite stressful and emotional draining. Fortunately, there is no need to continue worrying about this issue. The reason for this is that I am going to share with you some positive methods to get your defiant children to listen to you.
The first thing you will want to do is really become aware of what tone of voice you are using when speaking to your children. When children act defiant, many parents will end up getting frustrated and start yelling at their children. However, have you noticed that often it seems like the more you yell the more your children actually tune you out? Many times defiant children are actually more likely to listen to and respect what you are saying if you talk them in a calm, gentle and quiet tone of voice.
Also, try to consider the underlying reasons of why your child might be acting defiantly. This is important there is almost always an underlying reason for your child’s defiance and lack of cooperation with you. Let’s say that they are acting extremely upset and being very uncooperative when you tell them it’s time to get ready for bed. Try to put yourselves in their shoes and consider how they might be feeling. Tell them that you know they have been having a lot of fun and really wish they could stay up later. Then tell them the good news is that the sooner they go to bed, the sooner the next day will be here and then they can start having fun all over again! Try and acknowledge how they’re feeling and then find ways to reframe their concerns in a more positive light.
You will also want to be very careful about your body language. Always make sure that you either bend or crouch down to your child’s level whenever you are speaking to them. This is because children will often act out if they are feeling stressed and nervous because they have a big adult towering over them. Also, try your best to gently get your child to make eye contact with you. If you look them directly in the eyes while speaking to them, they are much more likely to actually listen to what you are saying rather than just tune you out.
Last but not least, using positive reinforcement is often a very effective tool to utilize when dealing with defiant children. Whenever your child has times where they are actually acting well behaved, be sure to give them lots of praise for this! Your child will undoubtedly enjoy hearing you praise them about what a good boy or girl they have been. This will in turn help motivate them to continue behaving well so that they can once again get lots of praise from you.